i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Randomize
