I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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