Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
