whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
