i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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