Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
