what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
We got so high we made milksteak
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
