Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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