Hey man sorry I got all grabby
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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