I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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