in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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