I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
