she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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