can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
