His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i think my tv is drunk
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Too much gin, very little bucket
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
