when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize