all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
