HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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