Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
