After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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