Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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