there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Just invented taco cereal.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
