I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
