very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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