It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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