We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
