Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We left the knife in your bed.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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