Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
