You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
