i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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