If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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