I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize