Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
