I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
