life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
