question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
