i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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