Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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