there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
