I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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