I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize