What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
