I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
wow bdsm is so cute
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
