...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize