they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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