god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
