What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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