im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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