Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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