Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
