My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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