"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
