We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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