i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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