i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
