Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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