on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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