I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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