you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize