Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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