So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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