One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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