I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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