how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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